Remember that old holiday song, “I Ain’t Getting Nothin’ For Christmas”?
That’s kind of how I feel.
Oh, I trust my beautiful wife to put something REALLY nice under the tree for me this year. No worries there.
I’m talking MOVIES!
Usually this time of year there is at least one movie coming out on Christmas day for me to get fired up about. Not so much this year – the Christmas day releases this year are:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marley & Me
Adam Sandler…GACK! Don’t get me started.
Benjamin Button…interesting, but sounds like a slow moving drama. Like MEET JOE BLACK.
Marley & Me. I like Owen Wilson, but this isn’t something that’s going to make me squeal and jump up and down in my Transformerer jammies.
Valkyrie. Might be great…if I didn’t already know the ending.
Some of you might say, “You’re not excited about THE SPIRIT? C’mon, Park! Comic book movie!! Bang! Bang! Pow! Pow! Kaboom!”
I don’t really care much for the character (seems more like Dick Tracy with a mask) and it looks like SIN CITY, which kind of gives me a cold blanket feeling of “been there, done that.”
But I could be wrong – the movie could be very good. As my friend Drew said, “C’mon, Park! It’s Samuel L. Jackson playing a dude called The Octapus!”
Can’t argue there.
So how am I going to fill my time over the holidays? I’m glad you asked. Well, Christmas Eve is going to one of the first trials of daddy-hood: staying up all night assembling a 200 piece wooden train set for my son. Could be a loooong night – should I prepare hot cocoa or whiskey? Hands up for cocoa? Whiskey?
Whiskey it is.
Other than that, my time will spent with the family, playing with my son, and taking care of the often-sick-with-pregnancy wife. And eating lots of turkey. Like Ralphie’s dad – I’m a certified “turkey junky”.
Which brings me to my other favorite activity over Christmas – watching Christmas movies. I have a list of “must watch Christmas favorites”, and here they are, in order of preference:
1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
2. A Christmas Story
3. Rankin/Bass Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
4. It’s A Wonderul Life
CHRISTMAS VACATION is in my estimation the funniest Christmas movie ever, and I can quote it all day, but I’ll just stick with one of my favorites for brevity’s sake:
(Griswold exits garage with hockey mask and chainsaw)
Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I’ll show you.
Todd: You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark: I wasn’t talking to you. (looks at Todd’s wife)
Merry Christmas! Shitter’s Full!
A CHRISTMAS STORY
You can watch it all day long on cable!! Inevitably I watch it 30 minutes at a time over the course of the day in non-consecutive increments. It gives it a kind of Quenton Tarantino feel with jumpy time lines. This film is set in my home state of Indiana. It gives me warm, nostalgiac feelings every time I watch it (even though I grew up in the 80′s, not the 50′s). Everybody had that one toy you would die for – mine was a Millenium Falcon. Still got it, too – its up in my attic! (Sometimes when my wife isn’t home I play with it.)
P.S. Just kidding.
P.P.S. You know, out of context, that last statement is pretty dangerous. I’m glad nothing gets around on the internet. Yep, that should be pretty safe in cyberspace, yessiree.
RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER
More nostalgia for Christmas past. I used to watch the old Rankin/Bass Christmas specials every year – but Rudolph was my favorite. Probably because Yukon Cornelius was such a bad ass. If anybody deserved their own full length feature film, it was him.
IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE
I can’t help it. Whenever I watch it I tear up like a little baby. It gets me every time. But its hard to commit three hours to watching a film over the holidays, especially when you have a two-year-old. But if for some reason you HAVEN’T seen this movie…you should watch it. It is emotional manipulation at its best – the film just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside (like a “metaphorical Milennium Falcon attic canoodling”).
But what do I REALLY want for Christmas – movie-related? How about some HOBBIT news? Wouldn’t that be nice? Oh, well. Maybe next Christmas…
Happy Holidays to all you DTF Devotees out there. I hope your holiday week is all kinds of warm, fuzzy…and canoodly.